CELEBRITY PLANE CRASH

I don't think I've ever watched one episode of "Lost," but I have a decent idea what happens when a plane crashes. In most cases, you never again hear from the people who were on the plane.

Using such simple criteria, I nominate the following celebrities to be aboard the next plane that crashes:

+ Terrell Owens -- In most cases, an arrogant, rich athlete will eventually grow up after making some public mistakes, and will become likeable after the passage of some time. Far too much time has passed and T.O. is still impossible to tolerate.

+ Chris Berman -- I realize he's ESPN's signature NFL personality, but everything has an expiration date. His passed years ago, as did his tiresome shtick full of weak nicknames, classic-rock references and John Facenda impersonations.

+ Lamar Odom's wife -- My original nomination here was the entire Kardashian clan, but that might have bordered on rude, and I certainly don't want to appear rude. Anyway, this girl gets the nod because she's the biggest of all the trainwrecks on that terrible "reality" show.

+ Carmen Electra -- Jenny McCarthy eventually got some talent and found a purpose in life, but Electra is perfect proof that you can shake your ass and look like a whore and become a millionaire regardless of an absence of intellect.

+ Richard Simmons -- America will never be ready for whatever he is, so why not just end it?

+ Donald Trump -- Perfect proof that money can't buy everything, particularly humility. His hair thinks his personality is awful.

Accumulating frequent flier miles: Chad Ochocinco, Stuart Scott, Rosie O'Donnell.

Click here to email me your Celebrity Plane Crash nomination.