To celebrate the Independence Day holiday, I figured I'd post a story that, judging by your traffic patterns that day, made quite a splash on One Great Season when it originally appeared on these pages on Dec. 10, 2009. Enjoy it, as well as your holiday. And yes, this also gets me out of having to write something new today. It's all about the fireworks, bitches.
By JOHN P. WISE
One Great Season
I'm still trying to figure out what to do with this site after the season, but in the meantime, how's this non-college-football story?
Hungry and credit-strapped Detroit Lions quarterback Daunte Culpepper was verbally abusive toward a restaurant server in Cincinnati over the weekend, implying racism and just basically being an asshole, according to two sources.
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One couple dining at the upscale Morton's steakhouse in downtown Cincinnati saw the whole uncomfortable incident and reported it to OGS in a telephone interview Tuesday.
Three different groups of Lions players hustled in promptly at 6 p.m. Saturday, hoping to get in and out in time for what one could only imagine was some sort of meeting at a nearby hotel where the 2-10 Lions were going to go over one last time the team's plans to use the Burger King King on kickoff returns.
Culpepper and unidentified teammates were seated and ordered steaks at about the same time another table nearby was seated and ordered.
Culpepper, a noted boating expert and fan of at-sea group sex romps, grew impatient waiting for his food, and seemed as cooked as the well-done beef he'd ordered when the other table got its entrees before he and his mates did, according to the witness.
The server tried to explain that a well-done steak takes much longer to prepare than most temperatures, the source said. It's not clear if the server asked what most people would have asked: "Why the fuck would you get a steak at Morton's cooked well done, you dumbass?"
Her explanation didn't appease the brawny baller, who, according to one of the sources, replied, "Are you sure it's not because they're white?"
The source also said that a short time later, Culpepper and a random bar patron some feet away locked eyes and the quarterback asked, "What are you looking at?" The other man said something back, the two went back and forth for a minute and then Culpepper didn't respond when the guy said, "You don't have to treat her like that."
Around that time, another group of Lions at another table then started in with the same server, and when the food wasn't delivered as quickly as the entitled professional athletes had hoped, one told her to put his tossed salad or appetizer on the bill of yet another table of Lions, canceled his entree order and walked out.
The OGS sources said that when a man in a tuxedo, presumably a manager or captain but definitely not Michael Buffer, walked over a time or two during Culpepper's dining experience and things appeared calm. Culpepper, who backs up a quarterback who should currently be a college senior, seemed to have a problem only with the server, who the source said was an attractive, young, blonde gal. Maybe he was trying the whole, "Chicks like guys who act like jerks" approach; either way, the source did not ask her if she has ever been introduced to Tiger Woods.
When Culpepper and his friends were ready to leave, take a wild guess what happened when he tried to use the plastic? The source deduced that after observing a minute of conversation, Culpepper's credit card must have been turned down because he eventually handed the server some cash before storming out of the restaurant.
The lesson here is obvious: don't ever act like Daunte Culpepper.